Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Atlantic City aftermath of Colleen's birthday!

Happy 22nd Birthday Colleen!

Last night, as we had originally planned, we ventured to Atlantic City and went straight to Caesars Palace. I never realized how beautiful the inside of that place is.

The historic-looking statues of soldiers from the Roman Empire, fountains, and an authentic looking sky that happens to be the ceiling is all so visually appealing. I was amazed as I walked through the palace and took in every little aspect of the sights to behold. Throughout the resort, one could see posters advertising the July 22 fight between World Welterweight Champion Carlos Baldomir and boxing's blood and guts legendary warrior Arturo "Thunder" Gatti.

Colleen, the birthday girl, managed to win $62 and change by playing the nickel slots at Caesars and Ballys (we also went to Ballys which is right next door; one could walk Caesars to Ballys indoors). Way to go, birthday girl! Colleen speculated that the spirit of her uncle, who was an extremely brilliant gambler in his life, helped her to win that money last night. That may have very well been the case!

We had quite a little adventure in Atlantic City last night. Perhaps the most vivid yet comical details of that adventure came when Crazy Mike drove us home from Atlantic City. Or, should I say, tried to drive us home? The dude was obsessed with switching lanes! LOL.

After about twenty minutes of trying to find Route 30, and running into unlabeled intersections and dead ends, we finally found Route 30. The sign for Route 30 West could not be any larger, more distinguishable, or easier to read. The sign clearly said Route 30 West: EXIT ONLY in the same lane Mike happened to be driving in. Frank, Colleen, Colleen's friend, and myself clearly instructed Mike to stay in the lane. Stay in the lane! Stay in the lane!!! What does Mike do???? He veers off to right, drives out of that lane, and takes us back into Atlantic City.

LMAO!!!!

As we all started laughing at the situation, while wondering at the same time if we were going to die or not, Mike chimes in and says, "Fuck you guys; it was not that funny." But, it was funny.

Even funnier, we never again found Route 30. I suppose God just did not have it in his plan for us to get back to Pomona via Route 30. As a result, Mike took the Atlantic City Expressway. Apparently that was an easier route for him.

The story does not end here, ladies and gentlemen.

After Mike managed to escape the late night grasp of Atlantic City, we all safely made it to the Galloway Diner for a bite to eat. Mike once again ordered his beloved jalepeno poppers. We all ordered our food as well. While ordering his entree, Mike was offered a salad to go with the entree and was asked what type of dressing he wanted on the salad. Mike asks the waitress, "Do you have Italian or Basalmic vinaigrette??" He had difficulty deciding the dressing, but eventually proceeded to pick a dressing after the five minute decision making process. Everyone at the table was cracking up. Even the waitress began to flash a smile on her face indicating her amusement.

Mike goes on to tell us this story about an apartment he found in Asbury Park on Roommates.com. Apparently three guys currently reside at this apartment. There used to be four guys, but only one of them was straight and he eventually moved out. What does that tell you? The three guys who currently live there are homosexual. Mike went over to the apartment to check it out. The flaming biggets, as Mike referred to them, gave him a virtual tour of this apartment. They showed him the livingroom. They showed him the bedrooms. According to Mike, each part of the apartment that the gentlemen showed Mike was capped off by the gays with a verbal, "taa daa!"

"Here's the livingroom - taa daa!!!"
"Here's the bedroom - taa daa!!!"
"Here's my bed; climb into it with me - taa daa..."


wait... no.

I don't believe the tour went quite that far. Atleast I HOPE NOT.

Finally, they lead Mike into the bathroom. This bathroom had one big brick column directly in the middle of the room. Why? I can not tell you. I probably do not even want to know. Furthermore, there is a doorway, that leads out of the bathroom and off to a twenty foot drop. Very safe for children. LOL. Hopefully people who sleep walk are not going to move into that apartment.

There used to be a fire escape at that doorway, but it was taken away. Colleen proceeded to ask Mike, ""So wait...you mean to say when you opened the door, it was a sudden drop like you see in the cartoons?" Mike's answer, "Precisely."

Too funny. Classic stuff. This was just a weird and funny story. It was even more comical the way Mike was explaining it.

Mike also went into detail about the people he takes care of at his job, which is an assisted living service for those who are intellectually challenged. He spoke of a trip to the movie theater, during which one of the guys in the program, who supposedly has a critical heart condition, ordered buttered popcorn. Mike suggested that it may not be a good idea for the gentlemen to eat buttered popcorn. The dude responded by calling Mike a "rude motherfucker." Mike also talked about how one of the guys he takes care of passes gas excessively and doesn't even budge, or something to that extent. He kept going on and on and we were just sitting there cracking up in fits of laughter!

We need to schedule storytelling sessions for Mike due to the fact that he never fails to entertain with these inside news items of his. He is indeed hilarious. The last two times we have gone to Galloway Diner, Mike's best material has come to the surface. His stories bare comedic value, and he is not even trying to be funny!

3 comments:

THE SARCASTIC ONE! said...

THE BEST ONE LATELY THAT I WAS PRESENT FOR WAS THE GALLOWAY DINER AFTER THE SPRING SEMI-FORMAL. MIKE ORDERED THE JALAPENO POPPERS AND AFTER EATING ONE COMMENTED ON HOW IT WAS BETTER THAN SEX. WE WERE ALL CRACKING UP. KRISTEN WAS PRACTICALLY CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. THE WOMAN WHO WORKS THE REGISTER HEARD MIKE AND SAID HE WAS CRAZY AND HE WASN'T GETTING GOOD SEX LATELY. THAT WAS PRICELESS!!!!

THE SARCASTIC ONE! said...

SECOND THING IS WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE MIKE DRIVE HOME FROM AC? LAST YEAR FOR COLLEEN'S BDAY HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO GET TO AC.

The Great One said...

Both occurences were really comical. He says and does some funny shit, and does not see the humor in his words or actions. He'd make a good stand up comic. LOL. We need to get Mike to the Galloway Diner more often - I love his stories.