Thursday, July 27, 2006

Looking for the next chapter... hoping it comes with a bright light!

I sit here at home, watching the taped replay of the Gatti vs Baldomir fight that took place live in Atlantic City, NJ this past Saturday, and I try to free myself and relax my mind from daily stresses and sometimes hurtful thoughts. Longing for some type of change in life, along with the recent change in employment, I look towards the speculated move with Colleen and Mike in January.

Our location of residence could be anywhere in Monmouth or Ocean County. Colleen has recently applied for graduate school at Monmouth University, and plans on attending the university to further her education at the graduate level upon acceptance. I would love to move to that area and just have a fresh start; something pleasant and fun, perhaps even exciting, to start a new chapter in my life, which has had twists and turns - and even a great deal of bad luck!

Sitting in a reasonably large-sized cubicle at work, and perhaps earning some really easy money, I have so much idol time to think about the most random shit. I suppose that is why some people claim that I overanalyze things to such a high degree. Too overanalytical. Having so much time to think about different things is probably the reason why I have such a title placed upon me.

Being at the shore eases my mind so much. Walking on the boardwalk, and knowing that the ocean is right next to me as I take each step, is such a relief and it helps me relax. I need the shore in my life. Fun is also a requirement. I really want to have some fun; I have been working so very much that I do not get out to enjoy myself as often as I should. As I talked to one of my former co-workers from the OG earlier tonight, I told her that I have not made it down the shore as much I should have this summer.

Last summer, when I lived at an apartment in Smithville, I practically lived at the shore. I would go to the beaches (mostly Ocean City) rather frequently. My apartment at the time was about ten to 15 minutes away from Brigantine. How marvelous that was, until I had my legal problems and was forced to return home to D-town. However, one year later, I am once again ready, after recouping from the arrest last and gathering myself financially and mentally, to spread my wings and move back down to the shore where I appear to be at ease.

What I am trying to suggest here, is that I am looking for something new, and for the first time in a long time, something pleasant in my life. Living somewhere that puts me at ease, meeting new people, getting out to enjoy myself more, and continuing to make money are objectives that I constantly look to fulfill. My life can not possibly carry a stigma of damnation forever. I can not possibly feel, forever, that people are turning on me and deserting me, a great man and a terrific person, for everything else in their lives. No, this can not happen forever.

I do not look to desert certain people in my life at this current state, but I do anticipate leaving behind all of the drama and ill negative vibes that currently taint my day to day life and emotions. Hopefully in January, perhaps even sooner, I look for that next great chapter in my life. Maybe the greatest chapter of all, up to this point.

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