Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Can't lose focus of the overall picture!

"Into each life some rain must fall."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


These absurd and ridiculous times will surely subside. All that I want, I shall have in due time! Just give me a little bit of time... it will happen!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, here I sit calmly and quietly in my cubicle at work. Currently I do have an assignment to complete, and a rather large one at that, but that will be completed just in due time just like all the others. Correctly and efficiently. I could not resist the temptation, however, to take a break from that. After all, my type of work whenever I have any can be tedious.

In regards to this Toms River house, it is unfortunate that we might be losing out on the deal that I came across last week (and the house we checked out last Saturday). One of my future roommates is concerned that he will not be ready to make this move until May. That is understandable, as the deal was clearly intended for May. Mike and I ready are pretty much ready to go right now, but we do not want to rush or scare the others who are a part of this move that we are planning. Hopefully, I can get out of my house really soon. I can not wait for this move to happen, but it will happen in the near future.

Perhaps I can find some place to stay in the meantime, while renting out a self storage and keeping all of my possessions in there for the time being. Self storage units can be rented out anywhere from $45 to $160 a month. In the event that I can find a place to stay until this move of ours comes to fruition, a self storage unit would certainly be an asset that I would be more than happy to invest money in. Anything other than being at home right now, as being at home is somewhat uncomfortable for me. In my house, I just sense a really bad energy and a really negative vibe. It is the kind that I am not really accustomed to, but have felt in other circumstances in the past. When that vibe is felt, it is a sure sign that one must leave.

Whenever it seems like everything in life might be going wrong (whatever goes up, must come down ... and visa versa), one must go back to basics. Human beings learn through trial and error, and once one goes through such a trial, one must adjust and act accordingly.

... [Interlude: Some of the looks I get around here from a few of the co-workers are absolutely priceless. As if they have a cucumber being shoved up their asses, and they need someone to give a strange look to. However, I'm not like some people. And I will not complain about such matters endlessly. I certainly will not get drunk, throw temper tantrums, and throw objects across the room because of it!!! LMAO. Such matters have absolutely no effect me, because I've probably given some pretty weird myself.] ...

Getting back to what I was saying, one must act accordingly upon going through a trial and an error. My trial was my situation in the homestead and the fact that some people feel as though they own the fucking world because they own a house, even though the don't own the neighborhood they live in and certainly do not own me. That was my trial, to put it vaguely. My error is that I have been staying there way too long, amidst that type of attitude and environment. If misery loves company, then misery has had enough company! It is time to get out, I do acknowledge that much, but I must take proper precautions and go about this plan the right way with my colleagues and future roomies.

Currently, there are certain conditions I am now required to follow at home, after all the shit that went down that wasn't even my fault. Buy my own food? Fine. I can handle that. Nobody is paying me back, and if one was trying to pay me back, it sure as hell backfired big time. I do not mind things being the way they are. If one can not afford to buy food for me, I can understand that. But when one does something in an attempt to pay me back or try to get under my skin, I remember those things and it can't possibly result in a positive outcome down the line for the person who is trying to pay me back or give me a difficult time. This is a BLOG OF BRYAN EXCLUSIVE for ALL: Trying to pay me back or make my life more difficult does not work to your advantage in the long term. EVER.

I will, nonetheless, make it a point to eat healthy and preserve this body. Gym work? I really need to continue fulfilling that duty as well, as it is part of that ever-so-important plan of preserving my mind, body, and soul.

One must go back to the overall picture and what is most important, even under such tragic and stressful circumstances. These recent times are definitely going to pass, and pass BIG TIME. What is most important to me at this very moment is making this move, having a satisfying high-paying job for when I get down there (which I have faith my agency will take care of for me), moving to one of places (such as Seaside/Toms River) I happen to like and visit rather frequently, living with people I get a long with and will accept me for who I am (and people that I don't have to watch my every move around because of how it might offend them or get them talking about me), living really close to the shore (I plan to be there much more this summer than was the case last summer), and just having a ball in life.

Summer time is beautiful. I love the warm weather. I love the feeling of the hot sun hitting my back. I love my sun tan that is caused by the sun and me being outside in the spring and summer time. Swimming is an activity that I love to do, for the reasons that it is a great source of exercise and also a means of cooling my body off in hot summer temperatures. These are all things that I am looking forward to when the move happens, when the warmer weather arrives, and when I am down in the area of Jersey where the summer time makes the most sense. By the shore points and by the CLUBS! That is definitely my type of scene, ladies and gentlemen. Definitely my type of scene.

I can potentially be living with some friends in a place that we can call ours, as well. But to get there, I can not lose focus of the overall picture. Can't lose focus of it at all. Amidst the recent string of events and adversity, this year STILL has the potential to be the best year I've had in many years! This year can STILL be a joy.

Keep the mind in tact and the thinking straight, I'll be there shortly.

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