Wednesday, July 25, 2007

This bad luck can't possibly go on FOREVER!

Lately it feels as though life is taking me for a whirl through the depths of hell. Can there really only be bad luck in one's life without any good luck at all? I feel as though nothing good has really happened to me in the past six months or so. It has been a while since I posted a legitimate life-based post here at the BLOG OF BRYAN, so I figure now is the appropriate time to give ya'll the low down on the latest but far from the greatest.

My little stint with Adriana - the kindergarten teacher who may not have had the mostest after all - went up in flames. She did end up bringing me with her to Harrisburg, PA a couple weekends ago for an evening with her at her sorority sister's apartment. It was on that particular evening that she did a total 180 degree spin. On the drive home Sunday morning, the girl looked sad as hell and had a long face throughout the entire drive back to Jersey. Once she dropped me off at my house and returned home herself, she informed me that we would not good for each other in the long haul.

Upon suggesting that I hoped it wasn't the night in PA influenced her decision, she implied that there were some other things she was not pleased with. Well, if there were other aspects of my personality and character that she was not happy with or she found bothersome, why waste my time and bring me along with her on a trip to PA????? Especially on a beautiful weekend when I can be hanging out with other friends? Why put up that front and act like you like me when you really do not? The entire situation was a total mess - and on top of that - guess who was the one who was accused of NOT being truthful???? You got it - me! I wasn't the one leading someone on for two or three weeks, she was! Friends of mine have responded to this sequence of events with their beliefs as follows,

"she is the product of a severely sheltered home life .... she stopped seeing you out of fear or insecurity that you would stop seeing her .... she's scared and doesn't quite know how to accept affection or interaction with guys."

My final thought on that misfortune is that it's amazing how one can put up a front for weeks and give you every indication that one likes you, feels good seeing you, and that things between the two of you are getting better, only to do a 180 degree turn and suggest that it's not working and that you have bothersome traits that made the bond awkward throughout the entire process. It amazes me that one can put up such a front, be so fake, and then turn around and somehow claim the role of the victim by accusing me of not being truthful!!!!!!! She was leading me on the entire time by telling me lies that she really liked me, enjoyed hanging out with me, and that our bond was growing stronger and stronger. At what point exactly did I become the villain and she the victim????????? Whatever, it is over now and there is no time or need to cry over split milk. It's water under the bridge and this is entirely her loss.

This job situation is another string of horrific luck that currently plagues my life. Seems as though I have been on a gay lover's asshole-load of interviews lately and none of the interviews have been paying off at all! If I could only get paid for the number of interviews that I have gone on, I would probably be a millionaire at this time or damn close to it. On Monday, I took a special trip into Manhattan to conduct part 1 of a two part interview with a recruiter at Tower Legal for a job at Bear and Stearns in Whippany, NJ. Bear and Stearns is a financial/brokerage firm that is competitive with the likes of Morgan Stanley, Merryl Lynch, and Citigroup. I felt as though the interview in NYC went extremely well. I was told by the recruiter that human resources in the Whippany Bear and Stearns office (where I would be working) were pleased with my resume as well as my background. Furthermore, I was told that I was one of the very top candidates being considered for the position at hand. Therefore, I was eager to attend the second interview in the Whippany office which was scheduled for today at 11am.

This morning, I went to my interview and arrived on sight ten minutes in advance. To arrive right on time is no better than arriving late. Always gotta get there early to leave a lasting impression, so that is exactly what I did. I was interviewed by three employees in the department that I would be working in if I was to get the job. I felt as though I conducted myself properly and professionally throughout the interview. One thing that bothered me afterwards was the fact that none of these professionals had the audacity to hand me their business cards. With a business card, I would have had the proper contact information to send them a thank you letter for the interview. At that point, I called my recruiter in NY and suggested that I could possibly air mail them a thank you letter and put it to the attention of the folks who were courteous enough to interview me. The recruiter responded, "Don't bother. It appears that they have initially passed up all of the candidates for the positions at hand."

This was somewhat disappointing to me, but judging from the string of bad luck I have been having, I wasn't entirely surprised or shocked at this news. The recruiter continued, "The only reason why they passed you up at all is because your resume appeared 'jumpy' to them!" I was thinking to myself, WTF????? This is after the recruiter had faxed my resume to the company and received a positive response regarding the quality of my resume as well as my experience. Perhaps it was only human resources that had seen my resume, and not the folks who were interviewing me for the position I would be working??? Who knows? The whole situation stinks to high Heaven, but my recruiter assures me that I am not to be counted out just yet.

Apparently he made the company an even better offer to bring me aboard than he originally did. Reason being, he views me as by far the most viable candidate for the job and he has been working with Bear and Stearns for twelve years, so he knows an ideal candidate when he sees one. He made them an offer immediately after the company passed up all of the interviewees, so supposedly I am still in the mix even though I was turned down initially. A new offer is on the table for Bear and Stearns, so I guess we're back at square one again. I just wish I could run into some good luck for all of the effort I have been putting forth to improve my status and make my life better than it has been.

Am I destined for life-long damnation???? Sometimes I really wonder. This can't possibly be the case ladies and gentlemen. What is it with this year so far???? And I thought, up until August or September, that 2006 was not going quite the way I had hoped or anticipated. Good things began to happen around August or September of that year as well, so hopefully the shitty downward momentum that I have been subjected to begins to shift in a more positive direction. Is there really a higher power out there with intentions of totally destroying my life????

There's only so much of my life and its stability that can be destroyed and so much bad news that I can receive before something good inevitably happens. Something good eventually MUST happen. Even the recruiter admitted, "You have a had a string of bad luck lately, but it's not over with Bear and Stearns - I put out a new offer to them to bring you aboard because I believe you are the right person for the job. Even if Bear and Stearns does not take me up on the new offer, I have other opportunities that I will work on setting up for you." This was somewhat reassuring, but c'mon! I have been hearing this so-called reassuring news and promising statements for months now. It is about time that I see some RESULTS!

This summer, I have not gotten down to the shore as much as I have wanted. The last time I was there was the first weekend of summer. Colleen, Raph, Greg Root, and I spent that weekend down at Mike's. It was indeed a beautiful weekend and we all had to chance to do some tanning and go swimming in the surprisingly warm ocean water. Since that weekend, however, I have not had the chance to make it down there.

On August 11, Mike will be having another one of his get togethers at his Lavallette shore house. For the past few weeks, his shore house has been off limits due to a malfunction in the shower that required immediate repair as well as vacancy of all residents. Supposedly, the shower is just about fixed and his house will soon be operative once again. I look forward to hanging out with Mike, Greg, Colleen, Raph, Ray, Melissa, and all of the folks who make those enchanting weekends at Mike's worthwhile and possible. We're all due for another one of our hangouts and I am looking forward to it with great anticipation. Talks are under way for a day trip to Hurricane Harbor that weekend. We'll see what happens and see what my money situation looks like at that time.

I pray that this job situation gets better so I can go back to respectably living a prosperous life in which I get bills paid on time and have more than enough money to go out and have the fun that I am known for having.

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